A fire inside

Remember when we were young and there was a fire inside us? All that passion, all those feelings, where are they now?

I still remember, back in 2006, when I finally decided to leave my comfort zone and moved away from Barcelona. The excitement I felt, that fire inside that makes you pump more blood, breath more oxygen, and makes you want to fly.

All the expectations, the anxiety and the fear that represented going to a new country I hadn’t been before.

Savoring a new language, breathing all those new smells, every feeling was new.

In 2006 and 2007 I was like, eat all the food! Do all the crazy things! Visit every country! Learn all the languages! Do all the jobs! Meet all the people!

I got excited while counting and keeping track of how many countries had I been to, how many jobs had I had in all the different countries, I was even amazed by all the different coins and bills from 
the different countries, pretending to collect them all, or collecting stamps or little souvenirs.

And every time I met someone all we talked about was our travels and were had we been and where to go next.

Even the food tasted better the first few weeks in a new country. all those new flavors and spices, all those new feelings, the thrill of the hunt, the fight for survival, the magic of getting lost in a country you don’t know, where you don’t know anyone, where you don’t speak the language, where nobody knows you.

But now, now is all like meh.. I have lost that fire and don’t know where to find it anymore.

Traveling, or surviving or getting lost in a strange place became an everyday routine, so it lost all its magic.

Like anything, when you do it for a long time it just becomes monotonous, it becomes boring.

Why do we always seek new experiences?

Where does that greed come from? That greed of always wanting more and more, more experiences, more knowledge,  more stuff, more friends, more everything.

Why can’t we just content ourselves with what we have here?

And what happens when the things that kept us going, don’t work for us anymore. 

When everything becomes bland, when everything looks the same.

When there’s nothing to do but to exist, survive and reminisce about the past.

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