Just in case I die

I am not planning to die anytime soon, but the truth is I can die at any time and for any reason, that’s part of human life, so let’s say I die today and you were the last person to see me before I died.

It may be that you are my Couchsurfing guest or host and found this entry in this blog through a link on my profile, check it in confusion not knowing what to do after seeing me getting 7 warning shots from behind because police thought I was black or Latino or Muslim.

So you may wonder what to do now, with my stuff, with my body, with my dog.

Money never came my way, so I don’t really have any material stuff, or savings or properties or anything in my name, I just have what I’m wearing and what’s in my bag, and you may do whatever with them, it won’t make any difference after I’m gone.

I don’t really have any friends or girlfriend, I haven’t seen my family in many years and most people don’t really like me all that much, some they tolerate me, some know who I am, I have failed to communicate or to keep in touch with the thousands of people I met along my journeys, and my father may as well be the only person in this world that replies my messages and tries to keep in touch with me somehow, so he could be the only person you need to inform of my passing, so that he can get some kind of closure. He changes his email, phone number and address every second week so I can don’t really know how to contact him.

I request all my usable organs to be donated to someone who needs them, or to science in case no one needs them, and the rest to be buried or given back to the earth for plants and animals to feed on them as I have fed on plants and animals throughout my life.

My dog is the most important thing in my life, so you have to look after her, otherwise, I will come back as a ghost to haunt you and make sure you always click an ad instead of the download button.

Here is what you need to know about her:

Name: Kim Bongu, but you can call just call her Bongu

Age: About 19 months old at the time of writing

Weight: 14.5 kg

Breed: Tugou, which in English would be something like “Chinese farmer’s dog”

Diet: 75% of her diet has to be protein, any meat, baked, grilled or boiled tofu, boiled carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, eggs. She can eat any dog food dry or wet. And the other 25% is carbs and fats, she can eat white rice, and bread, loves sweet potato, papaya, pumpkin, bananas, dragon fruit, cheese, yogurt.

Others: I did a lot of research and worked very hard to train her to the best behavior a dog can possibly have, now it’s up to you to maintain them and not letting her develop any bad habits.

– She will never relieve herself inside your house or anyone’s house for that matter, or a restaurant or hotel or anywhere indoors. Hang a little bell from the doorknob and she will ring it with her nose or paw when she really needs to go out, otherwise, she will wait until you take her out, assuming you will take her out at least twice a day in the morning and evening.

– When you take her out to use the toilet she will go by herself far from you and return after 5 or 10 minutes when she finishes her business and stays next to you.

– Make sure she has water and food available at all times.

– We never use a leash, she will never go to the street, near cars and will always stay within your sight, if walking in a super crowded street she will walk next to you or right behind you so she can see you, never in front, still no need for a leash, but if you need to go somewhere where they don’t allow dogs you can use a leash to tie her up to some tree or somewhere and she will stay there looking forward to your return.

– If in an elevator or waiting in line to pay for something she will stay between your legs, so she won’t bother others or get in the way.

– If you talk to someone on the street or buying something she will take it as a sign of friendliness meaning that person is friendly and she can say hello or approach them confidently.

– She knows her place and knows what she is allowed and isn’t allowed to do. She is not allowed to bark, bite, jump or bother any person. She is allowed to say hello to people, dogs say hello by approaching and sniffing someone they like. If she doesn’t like a person or dog she would just ignore them.

– She needs to be called only once and she will come. Always. Once is enough.

– She is kind, friendly, sociable and good-natured, she would never bother, hurt or cause some inconvenience to any person or other animals.

– She knows she has to sit and wait patiently while you prepare her food, and she has to sit in front of the door before we leave and when we come back home to wait patiently until you open the door for her.

– If you say “right” she will walk on your right, “left” means she has to walk on your left, that’s useful in crowded streets while running together or riding a bike, or if you think she’s on the way.

– If you want to use a leash that is also ok and she will be happy to walk next to you and won’t pull on it because she knows she is not in charge, she is below you on the hierarchy ladder, dogs are pack animals and need a leader to follow and look up to. They need guidance and discipline otherwise something bad could happen.

– You can’t hit her, never. Nor any kind of punishment like withdrawing her food or water or locking her in a small room by herself. Dog’s make mistakes and have off days same as humans, but if you say NO! just once she knows she did wrong and will correct her behavior, nothing else is needed. She learns new things through positive reinforcement, not through fear or punishment.

– “Come” is the most important command because it could save her life and she knows it, you only need to say it once and she will come blindly no matter what’s happening around.

– If you get into a car, “come” means she has to come into the car with you when we drive the scooter “come” means she has to sit between your legs.

– “Jump” while on the scooter means she has to get off and will obey it even if you haven’t yet stopped, so careful with that.

– She can go through the hula hoop if you say “jump” and can jump over fences and some obstacles not higher than 1 meter.

– We use a clicker and she knows the sound of it means she did something good, also you can click it if you want her to come or get her attention.

– “Good girl” means she did well.

– If she rubs herself against something means there is a dead animal buried there

– She can run next to your bicycle, skateboard or scooter if you think she needs exercise and can also run next to you if you go for a run.

– She can run a marathon (42km) without breaking a sweat and walk or hike 10 or 12 hours a day next to you if she has to because she’s good like that.

– Knows other basic commands like “sit, go, lay down, run, paw, the other paw, spin around, wait”

– She has never and will never bite any person or animal if she feels threatened she will hide in between your legs and if it’s a sudden unexpected threat, like a bomb, she may run away scared but will come back to you soon.

– She is not neutered

– Se is microchipped and her passport and vaccinations certificates are inside a small blue bag somewhere in my house.

So yes, I died, that’s life. People die, that’s what they do.

There’s no need for suffering, suffering comes from expecting something that life can’t give you.
Were you expecting me to live forever? Life can’t give you that, and the faster you understand that fact the easier it will be for everyone when the time comes.

I had spent a great deal of time, a while back ago to understand the fact that I was going to die sooner or later and coming to terms with it, so will my dog, and everyone I know, everyone I’ve ever met and there’s nothing I can do about it, the wiser thing to do is to accept it and move on, after all, I am still in charge of my thoughts, my emotions and my level of awareness and understanding can be as high or as low as I choose them to be.
If there’s something that is causing me suffering I can choose to deal with it and no one is in charge of my state of mind but myself.

And what’s next? Nothing, there’s no afterlife or reincarnation, there’s just peace and nothingness, and that’s alright, a bit scary but still alright.

And what is the meaning of my death? To give meaning to yours, to remind you life is fragile, you have only one and you have to live it to the fullest and do everything you always wanted to before it’s too late.

And what to do if you feel sad because I died? Understand that the reason you feel bad is no other than social conditioning, you are a product of your environment, and if you had been brought up in a society that celebrates dead or at least accepts it and understands it, you would be feeling otherwise right now.
Understand that you and only you are responsible for your emotions and you can choose, or learn to be happy and stay positive under any circumstance. You can choose to understand life and death. So yeah, some people will say you are a cold-hearted insensitive bastard, and it’s ok to put on a show in front of them so you won’t get ostracized and looked down on, what’s important is that in your mind you know the truth, and that you are at peace with it. However hard it may be, it’s what needs to be done.

And you will miss me sometimes? Well, you can be at ease knowing I had a happy life, I followed my dreams and did what I wanted to, I had the chance of loving and being loved in return, I experienced true unconditional love, I did what I thought it was the right thing to do and lived a meaningful life. I did my best to challenge the norm, break the stereotypes, to inspire and bring joy to many, had some really amazing life experiences and died peacefully and happily, what else could one ask for?

And what’s the meaning of life? To understand, to be happy, to be in peace, to share peace and love with others. To feel that unity, that sense of belonging and connectedness, to the universe, to nature, and to every living thing. To feel alive, understanding comes attached to that feeling, and detachment comes attached to understanding. To love and accept yourself, to love others unconditionally, right now for who they are, with no strings attached, accepting them and letting them go, letting them be free and letting them die.

And then letting go of yourself and die as well.

With a peaceful mind.

And a smile.

I love you.

Please look after my dog.




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