backpacker hotels in new zealand

Why dont you want to stay at the backpackers’ hotel like all the other foreigners in new Zealand?

Because they are lame.

But it’s the norm, young travelers here are expected to stay at the backpackers’ hotel, didn’t you hear?

Actually, I did hear it, and it’s still lame. I’m not gonna pay for sleeping, at least not for sleeping in a filthy crowded place, for that I can just sleep on the street. When one pays for a hotel, one pays for privacy, if you’re not gonna get that why paying in the first place?

As I said, social conventions dictate that they HAVE to stay at the hostel, share the room with many people, and socialize with them, of course.

That’s nonsense, I don’t want to socialize! |What am I supposed to talk about with all these people?

I don’t know, you’ll think of something.

And what if I can’t afford it?

In that case you borrow money from someone and stay there any way.

Crazy, do you even know how expensive those places are?

Yeah, anything between 20 and 35 dollars for a dorm room depending on the city.

Alright let’s say its 30, that’s almost a thousand dollars a month for a dorm room, it’s just too much.

Well, you’re not in Asia anymore.

Regardless of the country, let’s say it costs 25 per night, and they have 15 rooms with 4 beds each, that’s more than 40.000 net profit a month and they don’t pay taxes, they give you no invoice, they don’t pay their employees because they always have someone working for accommodation, they charge you for things that are provided free in any other country, like internet and towels. There’s is not a single hostel or backpackers hotel in New Zealand that provides free internet and that’s like the very basic thing they should provide for travelers, well besides the bed of course.

How do you know so much about this places if you don’t use them?

Alright, alright, I did go to one in Auckland when just arrived in New Zealand, they said it was 32 dollars and then they said it was 5 more per day if I wanted internet.

Yes, they are a bit overpriced, but I think most people who stay there don’t really pay for the bed, but for the experience, they get to meet many people in a very very short amount of time.

Like speed dating.

Exactly like speed dating, you know they are young, they are on holidays and they want to have fun. What is 30 dollars if you can meet 20 people of the opposite sex in a relaxed environment and enjoy the sexy time with some of them?

I see. So they pay to hook up. That means I’ve been doing it wrong all this time.

It’s ok, you didn’t know. You thought they were just paying for a place to stay because they are rich and too good to sleep on the streets.

Well, whatever. I’m not all that into promiscuity anyway.

And you don’t have to, you can also meet that special someone there and you know you can actually find so many free stuff there. Things people left behind, like tents, sleeping bags, laptops, lots of clothes and gadgets.

Who would leave their laptop behind?

They just forget them or get tired of carrying them around so they leave them there.

So if I pay 30 I can get a girl, new clothes, a tent and a laptop?

And more, sometimes people leave behind food and shoes.

Food, girl and laptop? Really?

Really.

But still, 30 dollars, oh man.

You could always sneak in, worse case scenario they kick you out, they’re not gonna call the police, doors are always open and the staff doesn’t know most of the people staying there.

You and me? Sneaking in together?

Yeah, and him.

Him too?

Yes.

Alright, this trio could work!

 

 

 

To be continued…

 

 

 

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