Whatever 9



Girl: I don’t know what to do with my life.


Bruno: Me neither.


Girl: What can we do?


Bruno: Nothing.


Girl: We have to do something.


Bruno: No, we don’t.


Girl: I feel like we have to do something.


Bruno: How about no?


Girl: Yes, let’s do something


Bruno: Nah.


Girl: We should do something.


Bruno: How about we don’t?


Girl: Oh, you are such a boring person.


Bruno: That’s relative.


Girl: Everything’s relative.


Bruno: Everything depends on everything else.


Girl: Let’s go to a party.


Bruno: Meh.


Girl: Let’s go to the movies.


Bruno: But we have internet.


Girl: C’mon don’t be so cheap.


Bruno: The reason why I pay for internet is so that we don’t need to go to the movies.


Girl: I really don’t know why I hang out with you. 


Bruno: I know why.


Girl: Why is that?


Bruno: Because I’m handsome, so you feel pretty next to me.


Girl: No, you’re not that handsome.


Bruno: So you can practice your English and learn many words from me?


Girl: No, your English is not so good, can’t be that either.


Bruno: Is it because I’m a genious, who always gives you good pieces of advice and get you out of trouble?


Girl: Nah, you can’t even spell genius.




Bruno: Is it because you know I will become a rich and famous actor and you want a share of my stash?


Girl: What are you talking about? You’re a terrible actor, I wouldn’t count on that if I were you.


Bruno: Is it because I can read you like a book and always know what you are thinking and what you need?


Girl: Yeah, it could be that. I’m not sure. What else do you have?


Bruno: Ok, I know, because I represent the part of you that has been suppressed for many years, the part that wants break free. When you are with me you feel free, like you can do anything you want, like there’s no limit to what you can do, no limit to where you can go, like time doesn’t matter, you have all the time in the universe, there’s no pressure for you to be someone you don’t want or do something you don’t want and you feel peaceful, like no matter what happens, everything’s gonna be ok.


Girl: Is that what you think?


Bruno: No, I just made it up.


Girl: Maybe you are right.


Bruno: Maybe I am.


Girl: Or maybe not.


Bruno: Probably not.


Girl: You know, I think you’re right.


Bruno: Am I?


Girl: I think.


Bruno: Lucky guess.


Girl: Oh, don’t be so modest, you’re always one step ahead of me and you know me better than I know myself.


Bruno: Do I?


Girl: Oh, come on.


Bruno: Alright, alright, let’s go for a walk.


Girl: I thought you said you wanted to do nothing today.


Bruno: Well I changed my mind, let’s go and maybe we can hold hands.


Girl: I don’t think so.


Bruno: Why not?


Girl: Because we’re friends.


Bruno: Right.


Girl: You’re a good guy.


Bruno: So?


Girl: Good guys have to stay in the friendzone, remember?


Bruno: There’s no way out?


Girl: Not for you, not. Unless you change your attitude, girls like bad guys, stop paying so much attention to me, act cool, act like you don’t care, pretend you don’t need me, don’t call me so often, act mysterious, ignore me, be more arrogant, make fun of me, stop being so nice and then maybe, just maybe you can get out of the friendzone.


Bruno: Meh, so much effort!


Girl: I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s girl’s logic, seduction is a game and you should learn how to play it.


Bruno: It’s just too much work and I’m just so lazy.


Girl: You’ll die alone then.


Bruno: And you too.


Girl: Whatever.


Bruno: 🙂

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