Letters I would like to receive

Bruno, hi! This is Ria (a character from one of your books), remember me? Surprise! Haha, oh geez so much pressure being at the top of the list, it’s like people will think I’m the most important one, but hey I’m just a fictional character so I don’t need to worry about it.

So how have you been? I sent two letters back in autumn you must not have gotten them, oh wait, did I just quote Eminem, like seriously what is wrong with me? It’s like I have too many ideas and they all get thrown together into this imaginary blender inside my mind and you never know what will come out of it. Or like no, not really, you usually know more or less what will come out of it, that was just me trying to be a cute little special snowflake who things she’s special for having too many ideas, just like everyone else out there. Ok, not everyone but most people reading this DO probably think they think too much.

So how’s your personality disorder treating you this day? Oh, I almost forgot why I was writing you for, I finally found a treasure! Yes, after all these years. Mom would be so proud of me, right? I will send you some pictures of it next time, I promise. Well, gotta go, I’m almost at the bridge now, oh geez did I do it again?

Love, Ria.

 

 

 


Mr. Maiorana.

My name is Daniel Williams, I am a customer service representative of the Commonwealth Bank of Australia and I am writing you regarding the feedback we recently received from you.

Regarding the extension of your card expiry dates, I am glad to inform you I have personally discussed it with my supervisor. He understood your situation and is willing to extend the expiration date of the card from 3 years to 5 years, in the same way, the banks in other countries do it.

At the Commonwealth Bank, we understand each of our customer’s special circumstances, that is why we appreciate your feedback and are glad to inform you we have transferred AUD 25.000 into your account as a sign of gratitude for helping us improve your banking experience.

Yours, sincerely.

Daniel Williams.

Commonwealth Bank of Australia.

 

 

 


Mr. Bruno.

We are the main governments, the Illuminati, the banks, the corporations or whatever you want to call us. The name is unimportant, you know who we are and we know who you are.

We make use of rules, regulations, dogma and technology to control every aspect of people’s lives, including yours. We control what you eat, what you think, wear, say and do.

We have a message to transmit to you today, it’s about blame.

Blaming others for your misery is like having an itch on your butt and scratching your head.

Have a nice day.

 

 

 


Fan mail

 

 

 

 


Hey, it’s me again, well it’s you, yes you from the future. I forgot to tell you something important the other day, that’s why I came back, it’s about chickens. And eggs.

I know you like analogies and I know you like chickens so now we have both, imagine your life like a chicken barn, there are some eggs but there are also a lot of chicken droppings. Some people pick some up the droppings, some pick up the eggs, there’s plenty of both for everyone.

It’s up to you which one to pick up.

Take it easy.

 

 

 


Hello. It’s me.

I know we haven’t talked for a long time and you are probably asking why did I decide to write now? I have tried to write you so many times before but couldn’t find the right words or was too afraid. All I want to say is that I am very sorry for everything. But I am glad everything ended up well for you in the end. Or I hope it did. I really do.

Take care of yourself. And take care of Bong Gu.

 

 

 


From Bongu

 

 

 

 


Bruno. This is Japan. Hi. Yes. Japan. The country. We write to tell you we understand how you feel. The sorrow. The pain. The isolation. The emptiness. You’ve felt it when you came here. We know it. That’s why you chose not to come back. But you must come back someday. To die. Japan is the place to die. Because we are already dead. We know you. We understand you. We know how you feel. We are one. We are everything. And we are nothing. Come to Japan.

 

 

 


Hey, it’s me from the future again. I have to tell you that existence is meaningless.

Take it easy.


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